if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
