i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
We talked him into tasing himself.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
