I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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