I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are two peas in an std pod
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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