U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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