There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
