it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
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