we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
