am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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