do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
