That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
