I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
