I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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