"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
