I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
