I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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