I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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