Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
