Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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