Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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