clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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