Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
