I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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