I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Found your dick twin last night
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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