I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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