Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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