Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
