I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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