you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You may now shotgun with the bride
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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