How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
