No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
