So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
