I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
