He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
