Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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