I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
