just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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