honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
