every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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