More tranny stories later!
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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