C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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