the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
