All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize