is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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