I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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