Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
