you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
