I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I can't turn off my feet"
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
