I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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