I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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