i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
