My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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